Isn’t
it ironic? In high school,
we learn
mathematics, science, and English, but nobody ever taught us the
most important subject of them all: how to meet, attract, and love
a woman. If you’re lucky, you find a great role model or
learn some aspects of it through trial-and-error. But if you’re
like most men, you never really become good at dating. You may
pick-up a trick or two, develop a “style” and find that it works
with one type of woman. But then you are surprised when it doesn’t
work with the women of your dreams. Well, there’s always fate,
right? You wait and hope that you will accidentally meet the woman
of your dreams and that she will magically fall with you. Then, a
few years later, you make the painful realization that life
doesn’t work that way. You have to take action!
Hoping that nobody you know sees you, you
start to peruse the self-help isles of your favorite Barnes &
Noble bookstore to find a number of dating books and guides with fascinating
titles like “Women Are From Venus, And Men Are From Mars,” “Dating
For Dummies,” “How To Attract A Woman,” and many others. Great,
you think, and buy one or two of those dating books only to find
that they have some great content, but most of it is very
theoretical Oprah-esque material. And then you browse the Internet
and find Jerry Springer-esque books on how to seduce a woman and
have sex with her within 60 minutes. These suspicious web sites
promise revolutionary results with their little dirty secrets.
Enough said, you pull out your Mastercard and try it again. After
all, we’re talking about your love life here. That’s got to be
worth $29.99, right? Then you buy these dating books filled with
photos of adult film stars, and dirty little tricks on how to get
laid. You shouldn’t be surprised to find that:
- 40% were things that everybody knows
(e.g., take a shower, brush your teeth).
- 40% are just complete nonsense (e.g.,
like break down and cry in front of a woman if she rejects you).
- 10% are outright dangerous and no decent
human being should ever do them (e.g., get a woman drugged out,
drunk, or hypnotize them to get her to have sex with you).
- Only 10% of the dirty tricks actually
sound like really good ideas (e.g., be proactive, be confident),
but the authors don’t actually teach you how to develop real
skills.
Alright, you did find some useful ideas – at
least that’s what you thought before you tried them. Then, you go
to a bar only to realize that you don’t have the courage to
actually try these dirty little tricks. Do you blame yourself for
not having the courage and the skill to be successful, or do you
blame the authors of those suspect Internet dating books? You’re
in the same boat I was just a couple of years ago.
I was your average, Caucasian male in my
late twenties. 5’10”, maybe 10 or 15 pounds overweight (a little
pudgy in the middle, damn it). I am actually Ivy-League educated,
but don’t hold that against me. I had a steady day job that paid
ok, but I was by no means rich or famous. My confidence level when
it came to women, was what I considered to be about average. After
a beer or two, and with the right wingman, I could muster up
enough courage to approach any woman in a bar – only to be
rejected 5 minutes later. I, too, picked-up a few dating books
that promised incredible success with their dirty little tricks.
Some of those tricks sounded appealing. But I, too, discovered
that they don’t work, and here’s why the vast majority of dating
books don't work:
Not all women are the
same. Some women may respond to some of those dirty
little tricks, but what do you do when you encounter a woman who
isn’t receptive to your advances? Well, most of those dating
books don’t have an answer to that. The best advice they give
you is that picking-up women is a numbers game. If you get a
less than optimal response, move on to the next one. What a
brilliant insight, thank you very much. But why is it that the
trick didn’t work? How do I seduce women that don’t respond to
those tricks? What if you found your soul mate and can’t seem to
get her attention? The answers are carefully researched, field
tested (that was the fun part), and concisely written in our
series, The Zen Master: Secrets of Dating.
Not all men are the
same. If you’re an introverted and genuinely nice
guy, turning yourself into a manly macho dude with cheesy
pick-up lines simply will not work for you. It will feel
unnatural and awkward, and if anything, using those dirty little
tricks will make your dating life even worse – not better. Do
you really have to change 180 degrees to become a successful
seducer? I am absolutely certain that you do not. There are ways
to use your existing strengths and qualities to be successful
with the women you desire… Craft the plan that is right for you.
We tell you how to do that in the Zen Secrets of Dating book
series.
Theory doesn’t always
easily translate into reality. Granted, some of these
dating books have good ideas. But rarely do they give you the
tools to translate theory into reality. For example, if an
author tells you that you have to be more self-confident, that’s
terrific, that’s also obvious. How do you go about building your
self-confidence? It is that difficult application of the
principle that sets this series apart from the rest. You should
dress better. Look cool without breaking the bank, but how do
you do that? If you knew what looks were cool, you would already
be dressed the right way. Another example, conversation is the
vehicle on which you have to rely to get from “point A” to
“point B” with a woman. I have yet to find a dating book gives
you the tools to build conversational skills. Seriously, cut me
a break. A few good lines? First, 99.99% of lines come across as
cheesy, awkward, contrived. Even if you had a good one (which we
discuss in the book), what the hell do you do after theng
line. We deal with this in our main book and more extensively in
the our companion manual “The Zen Art of Conversation.” Learn
how to be an “active listener.” How can you seduce a woman, if
you can’t hold an interesting conversation?
Last but not least,
dating isn’t about
dirty little tricks. Look – dating is about us
properly channeling our efforts, using our current skills to our
advantage and along the way becoming better men, and developing
real strategies, habits, and techniques. This will literally
transform you into a Zen Master Dater.
I set out to do something for myself and
then to improve upon and share my learning with others. I
contacted an old college buddy, Dean George Kennedy – the guy who
dated the most beautiful women, and then Cameron Skye (herself a
former model and now a marketing guru and trendsetter) to create
the Zen Secrets of Dating Series. We set out to do what I thought
– at one point – was impossible. And that was to transform the
quintessential average guy (that would be me) who had a poor
dating record, into a guy who could walk into any room and get the
number of the most beautiful unattached woman there.
This was my fantasy. This has been my
passion. I live in Los Angeles, where there are more handsome,
rich, famous, movie producer, musician dudes than anywhere elsein
the US. I could get invites to movie premieres, after-hours
Hollywood Hills parties, but look at the competition. I would see
beautiful women and I would look around and see the handsome rich
cool guys talking to them. I immediately retreated to a corner. On
the rare occasions that I mustered up the courage to speak to one
of them, my results were – shall we say – dismal. Could this
transformation actually work? Could it happen for me? The answer
is absolutely unequivocally yes. It has happened for me. I am
living proof and we have set out to capture this personal success
and develop it into a program that will work for anyone. We have
identified proven strategies and fail proof techniques that work.
What was supposed to be a one-year project, turned into a
three-year endeavor.
After creating a logical framework and doing
the research, which included interviews with experts in every
field related to dating, reading dozens of books, and interviewing
literally thousands of women, from models, professionals, to the
girls “next door,” we finally finished what we consider the bible
of dating: “The Zen Secrets of Dating”.
Have some faith and buy this program
(incidentally at no risk to you). Believe in us, but more
importantly believe in yourself. If you are not 100% completely
satisfied, then return the book for a full refund (less S&H).
I think our first book and our Zen Masters
series are special, because they are not about cheap tricks. They
are about developing real strategies, habits and techniques to
take advantage of the qualities you already have within you. My
monthly columns will explore some of these techniques and how I
actually applied them in the real world.
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